An open letter to twitter

Dear Twitter,

I need to explain what you have done to my household recently. As I type this1 I am sitting in my lounge room across from my partner who is also going though her tweets for the day and updating everything.

It has gotten to a stage where my partner will turn around to me and say “By the way, we’re going to the café tomorrow.” and I will respond “I know. I read your feed.”

My partner has just dashed into the kitchen quickly to put food on plates before she gets any more tweets.

I found myself at a tweet up the other day, and we were discussing, in real life, the same things we normally discuss online. We were all very polite and stopped talking once we hit 140 characters.

But the main thing that has come to my attention is that I’m noticing when things will fit into trending topics. I was preparing food earlier and the dog starting sneaking into the room. I turned around to her and shouted “Out of the kitchen”. Automatically I wanted to add a hash tag of #FourWordsAfterSex.

Just thought I’d let you know.

@PuppyOnTheRadio

1. Odd describing something as typing when there are no keys, just images on an interactive LCD screen that’s smaller than the palm of my hand. I feel old.

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